Praise the Lord for another Monday and for the start to yet another week. I suppose I should start my week with gratitude that God has blessed me with the ability to enjoy yet one more Monday.
It's almost the end of the day and I got to thinking while I looked around on my desk. There is the typical array of paper work in its lovely 'organized mess' display. There are books I need to read and haven't. There is an iPod I'd love to listen to, but can't because the phone won't stop ringing. I see my schedule which needs updating but forget that, I'm too busy trying to figure out what I have to do next. Oh yeah, and there is a Styrofoam coffee cup filled with old chocolate chips.
WHAT?! I have a what on my desk filled with what? Yeah...it's a Monday...but why, why do I have this environmentally sadistic container of stale fat sitting on my desk? There is no deep theological answer here. To be honest, I have no clue.
Am a pregnant? Am a about to be visited by dear sweet aunt flow? What about depression - who does depression hurt...me if I'm eating the horrific morsels of ungoodness. I felt like a little sugar, a little pick me up in the middle of an exhaustive Monday afternoon. I found an unused disposable coffee cup and the only thing in reachable 'free' distance that didn't have nuts was an old bag of unopened chocolate chips. Was I really hungry for them? No way...I would have never craved that. But why...why would I listen to that obviously deranged voice in my head telling me this, of all things, is a good 'decadent' choice?
Could this in anyway be a metaphor for my life? Could be. Am I the cup, the old chips or the moron who thought it was remotely appetizing? You know what I think? I think I've lost my ever loving mind. As I ate a few of these kisses of grossness, I thought to myself "these are gross, I can hardly choke this down". But then...I went back for more. Does this possibly relate to my accepting nature of tolerating whatever there is that fills my cup?
Why do I accept the things I do? Why do I passively tolerate that which leaves a bad taste in my mouth and then try and convince myself I enjoy it? Why do I sit back and swallow the world's hate, the world's old stale bitterness and yet do nothing when I could do more?
Maybe that's just too deep for the start of the week. But think about it? What is sitting in your cup that would be better off thrown away than ingested? What in your life could use a bit of cleaning out in order to make room for the real goodness God wants to fill you with?
By the way - I just threw away those awful chocolate chips. They aren't worth the calories and ingesting other people's hate and words of judgement...isn't worth the stomach ache. I promise.