Rockin' Out!!!!

For Christmas, I got hubs Guitar Hero. He works hard so I figured he should be able to play hard too and this is a game I can play unlike all those sports games. I love sports, but I do NOT understand all the controls to the XBOX games. I mean...wow.

Anyway, so we have been putting Hambone to bed and spending some fun couple time jamming to some great rock hits. Is it fair then, where this was a gift for my husband, that I totally smoke him? I love healthy competition but he gets a little fed up with my ability to totally out axe him. So, we've now moved to Co-Op play, meaning we play the song together, one as bass the other as lead guitar.

I know that this is completely nontraditional, but it got me thinking. When we are working on our marriages, we often need to shake things up a bit and be nontraditional. We think about improving our marriages and we think of expensive dinners out, babysitters which also cost money, movies which cost too much money plus don't allow for bonding/communication or we think of reading self/couple help books. I'm not saying that any of these are bad, in fact, I enjoy a peaceful dinner out with candlelight in a restaurant without crayons. I enjoy being able to watch a movie without multiple distractions. However, that can't be the only thing we have to do, right?

Who ever made the decision that when you reach a certain age, you have to stop having fun? Or that I DO really means, I DON'T have anymore fun. When was the last time you and your spouse took off just the two of you, grabbed a quick bite to eat and hit the bowling alley? Putt-Putt? Or what about staying home and playing a board game together or maybe even a little Guitar Hero?

Hubs and I have had so much fun playing this game TOGETHER. One isn't in one room and the other in another. We're playing together. Laughing, joking around and having simple youthful fun. We've been having so much fun, that we look forward to it at the end of the day. So we release the day's stress and spend fun time together.

This whole notion got us thinking. What are things we do together that are not so much fun? Hmmm...any guesses what those can be? Yup...fiances, bills, taxes, some yard work (other stuff is fun), disciplining children, cleaning the house, organizing the garage...etc. Have you also happened to notice that the spare time you do happen to find for time with each other, most often is filled by one of the activities above? I have. So, what if we made a pact that after every 'not so fun' activity, we follow it up with a fun activity. It doesn't have to involve us going some where, or if we do, it doesn't have to involve us spending a lot of money or going out of state. We could go for a walk in the park and hold hands and talk about other things after an intense afternoon with the taxes. We could wrap up a trying week with a game or cooking together, or, if we so choose, reading together. There are so many things that we can do as couples to enjoy each other.

Maybe that is why so many people are unhappy in their marriages. The only time they ever get with each other is time spent on unpleasant things. Then we go seeking the pleasant things in sinful places. It makes a huge difference to your personal emotional health as well as the emotional well being of your marriage to be intentional about taking time for it. Go get that ice cream together. Have a tickle war. Have a food fight. Do what you really want to do and do it together. Start dating your spouse again. It's a lot of fun and you'll wonder why you ever stopped. Plus...it's really great for your kids, if you are parents, to see you having fun. Giddy, side-splitting, memorable and healthy fun.

As a final note, I also think its fun to take the time to become active in your church as a couple. Whether that's through small groups, couples groups or Sunday schools. You can't just feed your relationship once and then expect it to flourish and live forever on nothing more. Give it water, care and the SON. You'll be amazed at how your marriage will grow.

The Love Dare

This past Friday was a great evening for me. Hubs came back from Houston on Wednesday evening and for the first time in well over a year, we were able to go out on a 'date night'. Hubs took me to my favorite German restaurant and then we went out for a movie; we went to see Fireproof.

Let me preface this by telling you about Tuesday. On Tuesday, I went to a local Christian book store to pick up a Bible Commentary and a book on writing tools of Exegesis. Yeah, crazy weird word that no one has ever heard of unless you pursue a degree of some sort in religious or theological studies. Anyway, I'm a window shopper. This store is one of my favorites as it has some of the most beautiful Christian decorations in it and my heart always feels warm when I leave. Well, as I was walk back towards the books I made sure I swung past the decorations and gifts. On my way, I stopped suddenly at a display for the movie Fireproof - the new Christian movie in theatres. There were several things at the display: trinkets, jewelry, the book for the movie and then there was this plain and mysterious brown book. I picked it up, looked at it briefly, put it back and walked away. Strangely, I was pulled back to the display and back to that book. I picked it up again and opened it reading a bit on the inside. It was called The Love Dare and was about marriage, strengthening your love relationship with your partner and doing it in a Christ centered way. Interesting. But, I put it back. As I started to walk away again, it was as if I hit this solid pane of glass and couldn't move any further. I stopped, left my cart, went back, grabbed the book and threw it in my cart.

When I got home, I looked at it a little further and as God always does, it was a message I needed to hear and God was getting through to me. The Love Dare is a 40 day challenge to improve your marriage, even if it is going strong. It focus's on love, patience, kindness, selflessness...and much more. The book was a main focus of the movie Fireproof, and having not seen the movie, I was without that extra content, but just the same, I knew I needed this book. You see, the further I grow in faith, the more I'm challenged, the hotter the fire gets and the more resistance the world gives me. Many of the people who I consider my spiritual advisers or sounding boards have told me this would happen and to keep going. I never knew it would attack my marriage...but it has. I love my hubs dearly, but we're human, we're flawed, and things haven't been easy lately for many reasons. It's just been hard; brutally hard and we've been failing each other. It's of course, in these times that the horrid "D" word gets tossed around and your marriage, not to mention your heart is nothing less then broken.

On Thursday night, I sat down with hubs and showed him the book and we talked about it and decided we would do it together. Though we read at night, we read for the next day, so we started day 1 of 40 on Friday. Friday night, we went to see Fireproof and it all came alive to both of us. Couples of all ages and stages packed the tiny theatre until there were no seats left and by the end of the film, everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE was in tears. This movie is the real deal. All pastors should sponsor a night out to this movie or once released, sponsor a night in at the church to show this movie to couples. The main character is a fire chief and he talks about how in a fire, you are to never leave your partner. The rest of movie goes on to show that is true in your marriage also. That when the heat is on and the fire is raging, you NEVER leave your partner. That's when it gets dangerous. I'm not sure what the future will bring. What I am sure is that we have nothing to loose by give not just love but God a chance in our marriage. I have prayed for months that God would come into my marriage and move mountains. I now know God has heard my cries. We are on day 3 and so far, so good.

If there is anything I can ask today, it is that you find your way to this book The Love Dare and you find your way to this movie, Fireproof. Even if your marriage is on the last thread and divorce seems imminent, please try one last thing. If hubs and I have nothing to loose, then neither do you. And if your marriage is going strong and good times are here for you, don't think you can't benefit from this too...because challenges are just around the corner. Fireproof yourselves now, before it gets too hot.

God bless all of you and your marriages. If your heart is breaking, know that God is always with you and you are never alone. And divorce doesn't mean God stops loving you. It doesn't mean you're loved any less or that you're lesser of a person. You are just as important as the person next to you. We are to love God first and then our neighbor as ourselves. But remember, in order to love our neighbors as ourselves, we must first know what it means to love ourselves and we learn that from truly, deeply, unequivocally loving God.

If you've seen the movie, read the book, are doing the Love Dare, or have any other insight, please share them with me and the readers who follow. We would be blessed by your thoughts.