Put it Down

  Over the past two years, my life has changed dramatically and in ways I never expected.  Some very difficult obstacles have appeared on my journey; some I conquered with more grace than others, yet others still leaving bruises and scars.  As I'm quickly approaching another alteration in seasons, I'm finding myself often lost in thought and reflection.  I think as a result, my dreams have been peppered with different faces, places, and goodbyes.  I've also seen the resurgence of memories, both joyous and painful.  This morning was no different as I walked around the house tidying up and putting a clean face on life.  I began to think of regrets; things I wish I had done differently or at the very least, better.  Knowing I couldn't wallow in that pool for too long, I chose to focus on the successes I've had in the face of struggle.  Offering myself the gift of grace, I began repeating, almost like a mantra, "I have done well, I have been courageous, I have overcome, I have been faithful, I am redeemed, I have survived."

  Upon a quick overview of this morning's top Facebook posts, I ran across one from a member of my congregation.  There was an image of a glass of water and then the following story whose author is unknown:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

  What I came away from this with is two-fold at the very least.  1) It's vital to our health and well-being to not only put down our stresses, but to put them down at the foot of the cross, letting go completely.  2) Don't pick it back up again, especially if someone else picks it up and tries to give it back to you to hold.  Far too often we put down sins, stresses, regrets, hurts, baggage, only to have someone else try and give it back to us.  When we put it down, we have a responsibility to ourselves and to the forgiving love of Christ, to leave it there.  We dishonor God and ourselves when we allow others to convince us that we must constantly flog ourselves with the weight of our pasts.

  Maybe the lesson in this for me today is that when even my own thoughts taunt me to pick up things I've set down, I need to tell them "no".  No I will not pick that back up.  No I will not address that again.  No I will not deny the forgiveness I've received, or the grace I encountered, or the roses amidst the thorns.  No I will not treat myself with hate over love.

  Plus, there's always the reality that when my hands are empty, they are then in the best place to receive and serve.  My mission and purpose in life isn't to live in the shadows of my past as some in the world would like me to do.  Rather, it is to overcome, move boldly into a new season with grace, and to put that which is inhibiting me in serving God fully, down. 

Picking Up the Change

Yesterday after service, I found myself engaged in a variety of different conversations.  At one point, I was standing beside the line for lunch and I saw the sweet face of my son barreling down the corridor.  Excited to tell me all about Sunday school and hand me his papers, he suddenly dropped his little metal tin.  Some months back, Ham made a collection box out of an old mint tin.  Each week after receiving his allowance, he places 10% in his tin to bring to church on Sunday morning.  When coins are found around the house, they rarely hit the piggy bank, but instead find their way directly to the tin.  As you can then imagine, one of his favorite things about Sunday mornings is bringing his tin and “emptying it so he can fill it up again.”

            When the tin hit the tile, the top opened and out spilled his collection.  With arms filled with papers, his little eyes expanded instantly and looked at me with piercing helplessness.  What else could I do but stop what I was doing and hit the tile?  While on the floor picking up the change, I noticed I was not alone.  Several others stopped, even got out of line, to bend down and lend a hand with Aidan’s change.  Soon it was together again, back in his tin and safely in his pocket.  As if nothing had ever happened, he was off running to play with other children and I was back to conversations.

            As I looked back in reflection over the day, this moment stood out to me.  How kind, I thought, of people to help my son.  What a great example of lending a hand, a gentle witness, a dose of TLC.  But then it expanded a bit more for me.  For some, it seems all we have collected has hit the tile floor and spilled out upon the ground.  With arms filled to the brim, we look around a bit helpless wondering what in the world we’re going to do.  There are those who will stand back and watch, hoping for the best.  There will be those who will scoff at the inability to keep from dropping and spilling our collection…maybe we didn’t hold on tight enough.  There will be others yet who will, standing from their perspective, offer advice and direction.  But there will be those who will hit their knees beside us and help us pick up our change.

            These days, it seems like there is change everywhere we look and at points it seems the change is all over the tile.  We can choose to confront change in a variety of ways, but the most effective is the one that results in action.  Whether it be our change or someone else’s, when we hit our knees and pick up the change, we are no longer standing back starring at it in helplessness.  Instead, we are actively seeking to collect change and in Ham's case, mine too, to give it to God.  I’m grateful for the kneelers who stopped to offer themselves in a way that helped my son pick up the change.  The change on the tile may not be of our choosing, but the way we carry on, the way we pick it up and hand it to God, is what transforms who we are. 

Whose change are you helping to pick up?  Whose helping you pick up your change?  As a body of Christ, are we are all on our knees together, picking up the change together, so that together we can run again, laughing with joy?  It’s not change that makes life difficult, it’s the attitude we choose to bring to the tile.

            And sometimes…it’s the exact change God needs us to surrender to in order to bring God the most glory.

Renovating the "To Do" List

Photo by Deb @ Carrots and Kids

“Change your mind and do not bring disaster on your people.”

 – Exodus 32:12

Hi.  My name is Freddae' and I’m addicted to “To Do” lists.  Many have tried to get me to lighten up on these lists over the years but to no avail.  Maybe it’s my upbringing in a hard working, rather workaholic family, or maybe it’s my type A personality, but I just can’t quit making lists.  You can find them all over my computer, in my purse, throughout my date planner, on my phone (yes, there’s an app for that), in my car…even in my Bible.  I have managed to meticulously outline the things I “need” to do in every compartment of my life.  I am thoroughly convinced that if I were to ever misplace my lists I would loose my mind - that is until I made another one.  Needless to say, I’m a “To Do” list girl.

Recently, I was reading a book of meditations for parents and came across one that had these lists as its central focus.  What I found new and interesting was a very simple statement that made me stop in my tracks and reflect on life for a few minutes. 

“If you have to live by lists, put ‘Love My Children’ at the top.”

I got to thinking about all the things that usually make it on these lists of mine and realized, quite sadly, that the simple act of loving someone, particularly my friends and family, never makes it on paper.  Of course, it’s always there in my mind and my heart, but why don’t I prioritize that on my list?  Other things not on my list:  pray, journal, spend time with God and read scripture.  I guess I just assume these things are givens and don’t need to be written down because “I’ll remember them.”  But do I?  What if it were as big of a deal to have something interrupt my family or God time, as it is when something interrupts my work or homework time?  What if I showed my family and my God that they truly are on the top of any list I could ever write?  How would my life be different if the first things on my list or calendar were ways to love, care for, be attentive to and show grace to my family and the One who gave all to save me?  If neglect can cause my relationship with God and loved ones to suffer, maybe I should do as Exodus says and “change my mind” about how I got about things.  My prayer for you and I this week is that we realize the importance of things and that nothing really compares to the charge we’ve been given to love God, love our neighbors and love ourselves.  So revamp your “To Do” list and put what’s really important at the very top.

Authentically You

Artist: Beth Budesheim

There is a woman I know.  She's amazing.  She's organized, methodical, spiritual, intelligent, physically active and fit, patient, a great mother, a supportive and loving wife, an academic scholar and wise in common sense, she's a leader and a follower and knows when to play which role, she's musical, theatrical and artistic.  I love this woman but every time I'm around her she makes me feel badly about myself.  Though not directly or intentionally, she makes me sad, depressed and not good enough.  This woman's talents and gifts far exceed mine and when I'm around her my vision of my talents and gifts gets muddled and fuzzy at best.

This woman represents a combination of things I wish I could be or at least be better at.  This woman seems to have it all and she castes a mighty big shadow.  It wasn't until I read 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, that I was able to begin identifying who this woman really was.  1 Corinthians 12:4-11 talks about the gifts given by the Holy Spirit and how one person might be given the gift of wisdom, but the other the gift of knowledge.  Why, I wondered, did this woman in my life seem to have it all and I seemed to have the plastic spork to her fine silver?

I quickly discovered that this unnamed woman was a manifestation of my desires.  This woman was only as real as I made her.  She was my ideal woman, the one I created in my imagination, the one I molded out of clay and made my target goal.  This was my idea of who I should be and it was a mighty tall order, one rather impossible to attain.  I also realized that I found this ideal waving back at me through the eyes of other real women in my life.  Friends of mine who had great gifts and talents in different areas would be elevated by my own judgments and perceptions.  A friend of mine who is great at being physically active became the physical representation of my unnamed ideal woman and then jealousy began to brew.  I started to project my growing disdain for my ideal woman onto those who exhibited the gifts and talents.

I read further into 1 Corinthians 12 where the text talks about the Body with many members.  The body of Christ remains today through the community of many members.  This body can't have all arms, or all heads...it needs each and every part.  If I'm the nose, I won't ever be a talented foot, but I can be one heck of a nose.  I know this sounds silly, but the point here is that the Holy Spirit manifests itself in the community, the body of Christ, in the form of different gifts and talents.  We are empowered by these gifts to do what we have been called to do.  What God has created me to do, might not be what my friend has been called to do.  This doesn't make me any less valuable than my friend, it just means that my talents and gifts are else where and for other purposes.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.  We have ideal images in our heads of what we should be, what we think we are expected to be and what we expect ourselves to be.  When we fall short of these ideals and than encounter someone who is stronger at something than we are, than we start to beat ourselves up and think we're not good enough.  So am I not good enough, do I have no value if my dinner isn't on the table on time?  What if my child is in the bathtub five minutes longer than he might need to be?  What if I don't get everything on my "To Do" list done in one day?  Get the gist?

Once we are able to identify what our gifts and talents are, as we work with God to identify them, then we can begin to identify what our fruit might be.  For example, I'm in ministry, but as much as I love music, I know my gifts and talents are not for music ministry.  It's then that I would need to discover where my gifts and talents fit.  I believe God has a call on each of our lives, our job is to journey to discover what that call is.  And along the way, we need to learn to be good to ourselves when we don't quite measure up to our ideal.  The body of Christ, this community of believers, needs each and every part.  We can't all be the mouth, or the eye, or the ear.

Discover yourself and be authentically you.

In what ways do you practice being authentically you?

How do you celebrate your gifts and talents?

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Stocking Up on Joy

Oil of Joy by Stacy Lee

It would be a lie if I told you that this holiday season has been joyous for me.  Rather the opposite, it's been a daily challenge to seek out and find my joy.  You can only imagine my relief than, when sitting in the movie theater with my son an ad came across the screen telling me where I can go to find my joy...Walgreens.  That's right friends, stock up on joy at Walgreens.  Later in the ad, it shows that the joy you can stock up on is ice, soda, chips and other snack foods.  Hmmm...so gorging myself on junk food will help me find my joy?  That's all well and good until I have a Pepsi and Dorito induced heart attack and my bum is the size of Santa's workshop.  Yup...that translates into joy for me.  Joy at Walgreens.  Great.

 

As ridiculous as the ad obviously is, it made me think.  For Walgreens to use such a slogan as "Find your Joy at Walgreens" they must be tapping into what I've personally experienced, a joy deficiency this time of year. 

Let's be honest with ourselves, for many, the holiday's represent a very challenging time of year.  Everyone desires to be filled with abundant joy...just bubbling over with happiness.  But sometimes that doesn't happen for everyone.  It's not that we're all channeling our inner Scrooge's or Grinches, it's just that we're bogged down with the sorrow of life.  There are many who have lost jobs this year, lost homes, lost family members and friends, lost health, lost love, lost spouses, lost hope and thus, lost joy.  It's hard to be joyous when your heart is grieving loss.  It's hard to be around others who are joyous when your own heart is aching.  It's hard to find joy in the suffering.

I look around my own life and see the suffering in the faces of those I love.  I see a mother who has lost two children to miscarriage.  I see an amazing guy whose engagement was called off.  I hear the tears of a very loving woman whose marriage has ended.  I see a couple who will have to move far from their friends and family in order to keep a job.  There are several who have lost their jobs and financial support for their family.  There is someone who has lost health and faces cancer.  There are five women, myself included, who have lost hope of having children or more children as calendar days tick by with no pregnancy in sight.  I see a woman in her 20s who has just undergone a full hysterectomy but who desperately wanted to have her own babies.  I hear the longing from single friends for comfort and love.  I hear the cries of parents who have lost children in the war.  I hear the cries of children who have lost parents.  I see the aching hearts that long to be with the ones they love, but can't.  There is suffering and that suffering becomes so pronounced when surrounded by such a packaged month of joy.

So where do the hurting and the suffering go this time of year to find joy? 

Maybe 'Comfort and Joy' can be found in going home for the holidays and embracing the ones who are still with us.  Maybe it's giving to others, serving others, serving through the pain.  Maybe joy can be found in the brush of snowflakes on your cheeks, in the warmth of a fire, in the grasp of a long tight hug, in the laughter of the children around you.

This season is really about a glimmer, a sparkling star of hope, Jesus, who came to live with us, to suffer as we suffer.  God chose to be here with us and to give us peace, hope and joy.  In the darkness, there is light.  Though I suffer, though I hurt, though I can't seem to make my pain go away no matter how hard I pray or smile or sing, I know I'm not alone.  I know that Christ came to suffer with me, beside me.  I know there is hope in the suffering because I know that suffering is not all there is.  I can look in the face of my son and see hope.  I can feel the kiss of God as I'm held so tenderly and comforted so sweetly.

We're not alone and there is hope.  Christmas is about that hope that a better day is coming.  Not only will we get through our current suffering and glow in future joy, but one day, we will live with God where there is no suffering.  One day our hearts will be made whole again, our tears wiped away and we will know a joy that has no words. 

This Christmas, I cannot will my grandma back to life, but I can thank God for last Christmas and all the Christmas' before that.  This Christmas I will not hold a baby in my arms, but I can thank God for the baby who I once held, the toddler I hold now and the hope of the babies I will hold again.  This Christmas, I can choose to see more in this holiday than the brisk cold of winter, I can see the warm hearth of the Lord, our Lord, who came to us.

Joy, real joy, can't be found at Walgreens.  Real joy can't be found in a package or at a store.  You can't buy it, sell it or ship it.  Real joy comes in the knowing that Christ comes for us, to be with us, to live with us, to love us, to give us peace and hope.  Real joy comes in knowing that after the crucifixtion, comes the resurrection.  Real joy comes in knowing there is another day.

Seek out your joy in the arms of God.  Find your Comforter in your midst. 

Luke 1:14
And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth
Luke 2:9-12
And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. (10) And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. (11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (12) And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

I wish all of us great Tidings of Comfort and Joy.  And when you find it, sing JOY to the world and "repeat, repeat, the sounding joy!"

Where have you found your JOY?

Preachers & Pastors are People too!

It wasn't until I began the process to become a pastor that I realized how judgmental I had been towards the pastors I had known in my life.  It didn't take long for me to realize that I had it all wrong.  I had been so harsh in my criticism against how they acted (even the small stuff), how they raised their children, how they preached, even what they preached about.  I had been treating them as if they should be perfect.  I had forgotten or rather never thought about the fact that preachers and pastors are people too.

I believe that pastors should be held to a higher standard, because, well, they know better.  I believe that pastors have been called by God to be spiritual leaders, to direct their 'flock', to love and care for them, to preach regular services, weddings and funerals.  I believe pastors should become a part of the community they are serving and to be a leader within the community.  They should exude integrity, honesty, faith, compassion, be ethical and moral.  We often see our pastors as pillars of the community, strong, sometimes stoic.  They are there for us in our joys, to celebrate baptisms and weddings and confirmations, to cheer at high school football games, comfort our youth and tend to the elderly.  They are there for us in our deepest sorrows, to bury our loved ones, to help us face our addictions, to comfort us through job losses, spouse losses, and when we loose our faith.  They teach us, guide us and pray for us.  They work endless hours (trust me when I say you do not want to see a pastors "time card", it would shock you), their spouses sacrifice, their children sacrifice...all for the church they've been asked and called to serve and most do it happily because they know passionately that God has called them to this.

We have all these expectations of our pastors.  We expect that every Sunday we will hear a life changing and miraculous sermon.  We expect our pews will be filled around us, just not too close because that makes us uncomfortable.  We expect there will be children's programs, Sunday schools available, mission work being done, nursery attendants at all church events, pretty new bulletins every Sunday, appropriate songs (which differs based on who you talk to), hot donuts and fresh coffee in the foyer...we EXPECT perfection from our pastors.  But I wonder when it was we began to see pastors as machinery.  We want them to be loving and comforting and tend to our needs, but we also want the business of the church to be carried out flawlessly.  We EXPECT perfection.

When was the last time you expected yourself to ask the pastor, genuinely, how they are doing?  When was the last time you recognized the abundance of God's work available for any given pastor within your church and volunteered your time to help out?  When was the last time you thanked your pastor and their family for their sacrifices?  When was the last time you truly looked at your pastor and recognized that individual as not perfect or flawless, but as a human too?

Pastors are people too.  We feel, we hurt, we rejoice, we get tired, we get frustrated, we wrestle with God, we question, we doubt, we pray, we eat, we put our pants on one leg at a time.  Do you understand where I'm coming with this?  Pastors have received a calling to spend each day learning more about God, loving God deeper, serving God better.  This is the same calling that I believe God has on all of us.  What is different is that pastors take that calling in another direction.  We believe God is also calling us to lead others in lives that grow closer to God.  Preaching and being a pastor is hard work, but it's very rewarding.  It's an honor to be embraced and welcomed into people's lives.  We come to love the ones we're with, to pray for and with them, to laugh and cry with them.  But what happens when something is happening in the preacher's life?  You do know that pastor's being people too does mean that things do happen to them?  Right?

As a pastor, generally speaking, you enjoy serving your community.  But you also feel a great pull.  It's a pull between your personal life and the lives of others.  A pastor could indefinitely serve his/her community from sun up to sun down, there is that much to do.  Yet at some point, the pastor must also stop to tend to some of his/her own needs.  Pastors must eat and drink and spend quality time with their family.  Pastors need to have solid spiritual lives, they must tend to spiritual practices like fasting, prayer, meditation, scripture reading and so on.  Pastors need to take care of their physical health.  If you want your pastor to be there for you when you need him/her, you must realize that they need to take care of themselves too.

I could ramble on about this for some time and I won't.  It's just been heavy on my heart.  I'm trying to come into my identity as a pastor, to figure out who I really am for me and who I am for those I serve and how I can best accommodate the two existing together.  I have had to struggle in discovering for myself that being called to be a pastor doesn't mean I'm called to perfection.  It's comforting that though many will watch my every move and I will no doubt disappoint some, that God has never asked me to be perfect.  In fact, I believe that God knows I can't be perfect, not in this life.  But, there is the call to strive for perfection.  To be better tomorrow than I was today.  I also recognize that sometimes I'm going to be weak and I'm going to need God just like everyone else.  You see, pastors don't have all the answers.  No one does.  There are those mysteries that we as humans cannot define.  That is where our faith kicks in.  But as for me, one preacher girl, I've asked forgiveness for the unfair judgment I've placed on preachers before me and I ask that in the future as I pick up my cross and follow Christ, there grace exists for me.  Sure, I hope every sermon I preach is a home run, but in the case it falls flat, I pray for smiles and grace from those I'm preaching to, and forgiveness for my imperfection.  I pray that people can understand that I'm human, flawed and that I don't have all the answers.  I pray that I learn that I don't always have to be strong.  I pray that my eyes are always on God and the love of Christ so that I may never be a stumbling block before those I lead.

Pray for your pastor or pastors, your priest, your religious and spiritual leaders.  And pastors, show your authenticity to your congregation.  Reveal your humanness. 

...is Grinds in My Cup!

Have you ever had a "grinds in your cup" kind of morning?  What about a "grinds in your cup" kind of day? 

This is the season of lots to do.  I'm sure you're in the same boat I am.  You're running around with a calendar of events and 'To Dos' that's busting at the seems.  Getting yourself out of bed is a miracle, let alone attempting to do something with that Billy Ray Cyrus lookin' mullet you got going on.  There are chores to be done, job duties to be fulfilled, letters to be written and sent, presents to buy and wrap, charities to assist, people to avoid unleashing your wrath on when they run into your heels four times with a grocery cart when you clearly cannot move because of the half-a-dozen people with carts in front of you (grr...poor hubs had this happen).  It's hectic, yet beautiul.  It's messy yet crystal clear.  It's...well...it's the holidays.

For me, the end of my semester is this next week, so I'm facing finals in the midst of all of this, and the two I have ahead of me are a bit heavy handed.  Needless to say, though this is pretty much for every day of my life, I MUST have my coffee to get through the day.  Today, I started out by running around trying to clean the house and brew coffee at the same time.  I'm addicted to multi-tasking.  Hi, my name is Tiffany, I'm a tasking and to-do list aholic!  Can't help it!  Tried to break it.  It's who I am.

I finally stop to get that yum-yum cup of pepperminty goodness and GASP!!!!  There are grinds in my coffee cup.  ACK!  "You have got to be kidding me!"  "All I want is one single solitary cup of heavenly java, and now I've wasted an entire pot of coffee."  HURMPH!  Down the drain it went.  On to the next pot.  It seems the coffee filter folded during brewing.

As the new pot was bubbling, I had time to pause for a moment.  I even laughed a bit as I saw a lesson literally brewing.  How many times do I have expectations of my life, of people in my life?  I tend to expect people to be honest, kind, loving, ethical, to be who and what they say they are, dependable, true.  I expect my life to be happy, healthy, joyous and peaceful.  These are great expectations to have and though I don't think any of them are unreasonable, what is unreasonable is to expect that my fellow human beings and thus my life, will be perfect and unflawed all of the time.  I should come to expect, not cynically however, that mistakes will be made, imperfections to abound, and grace needed.  Every once in awhile, I should come expect to find that someone's filter folded and now I have grinds in my life, in my cup.

The thing is, I'll never like the grinds.  However, I can learn to see that they too can bring about a sense of peace.  Having to take a pause now and again, a pause to reflect on life, a pause to prepare to try again.  The grinds can remind me to be thankful for the times of grindlessness.  You know, life is often messy and rarely perfect.  There are going to be many more times where our anticipated moments of goodness end up filled with the grinds.  What's key is how you handle the situation.  Are you going to give grace to the imperfections, or let the nature of lack of control over the situation consume you with a fire of anger?  Will you, when you cause the grinds to fill someone else's cup, desire to be the recipient of grace or will you want anger lashed at you?

The best part of waking up, today, was grinds in my cup.

'Love Comes Softly' & Other Thoughts

This weekend, I was folding the endless river of laundry that consumes my home and I tuned the television to the Hallmark Channel. Yes, I am one of those crazy ladies who loves to watch the Hallmark Channel and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Anyway, the Janette Oke series was on and I recorded them all because there was no way I could sit in front of the TV for that many hours in a row. I'm rambling now. Moving on. So I watched the first movie, Love Comes Softly.

This book is one in a lovely series on a family facing varying circumstances in the West. Love Comes Softly is the story of woman who is widowed on the trail out West. Alone, a single-father swoops in to rescue her, taking her in, giving her food and shelter, all in return for her help with his daughter.

There are so many things I could say about this beautiful book/movie, but one scene really stood out to me. There is a moment when the leading man takes the leading lady (play by Katherine Heigl I might add) and tells her they're going 'to church'. Church is atop a hill overlooking a beautiful landscape. There is a bench there and they sit. Leading lady, Marty, asks leading man, Clark, how he can have so many good things to say about a God who has let so much bad happen. Clark gets emotional and tells Marty that it's like how he is with his daughter. He loves his daughter, wants the best for her, never wants to see her get hurt or to have anything bad happen to her. But, he could be walking right beside her and she can still get hurt. He goes on to say that God doesn't want bad things to happen to us or for us to get hurt. He says that God never said bad things wouldn't happen, but God promised He would be there with us when they did.

A good friend, "S", sent me a text message a little while ago asking for positive thoughts today. She was called into the 'office' at work and was told that a co-worker who she was close to, passed away last night. Her co-worker was married with a young child...and is her age. Receiving her text really jogged my memory back to the words of Clark atop that hill. It's so hard to understand suffering, loss, sorrow and grief. It's hard because it hurts and because we are creation formed in the image of a Creator who loves. We love. When we love and we loose the thing we love, we hurt. God knows this hurt. God knows loss. God knows suffering...it was hanging on the cross.

It's important for us all to remember that God did give us a beautiful promise, a promise that we will never be alone. We don't suffer alone. We don't grieve alone. We don't cry and scream and wale and retreat...alone. God is always there like the loving parent walking beside us. God never promised we wouldn't fall or get hurt. God did promise He would be there to hold us when we did.

Go in peace today, knowing you walk with the One who loves you beyond your wildest dreams. Be in peace today, knowing you are held by the arms that held Jesus in his suffering.
Live out peace today, giving this knowing to those who need it in their time of hurt.

Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Being Thankful in the Waiting

"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway."
Proverbs 8:34

Recently, a friend of mine was awaiting the arrival of her new baby. She was ready to go any day, and really, ready to go well before that. The doctor told her the baby could come any day, so as any of us who have children know, that means watching the every tick of the clock and jumping at the slightest of movements. During this time, she made a simple "update" post on her facebook account. "Being thankful in the waiting."

The first time I read this I was thinking how wonderful it was that she was having such a great attitude about the end of her pregnancy and amidst the excitement of the arrival of her first child. The second time I read it I thought, "you know what, there is really something in that." The eighteenth time I read it is when it dawned on me that God was trying to say something to me. "Be thankful in your waiting."

I have been really torturing myself lately with the "big" life items that seem to be on simmer. I'm awaiting an appointment to a church in one capacity or another and really, I have very little control as to how any of that will work out besides simply voicing my interest in receiving such an appointment. Secondly, my husband and I have been trying for a second child. This is also limited in the control I have. I have PCOS and struggled for several years before I got pregnant with my first child...who I call my miracle baby. Hubs and I have been trying for number 2 since January of 2008. We are closely approaching two years of trying and to be honest, I'm just exhausted. In the process, I have been on a several different fertility cocktails that have done little else besides make me horribly sick on a daily basis. So I'm literally sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Most of the time, I have been able to keep a very calm and positive attitude about both situations. I know and trust that God is in control and that my life will be blessed by His loving hands as it always has been. I never thought I'd make it to where I am now in my ministry career...so many road blocks. And, I never thought I'd have the beautiful son I do now...so many fertility blocks. I truly believe that nothing is impossible with God. I do. But...I'm human and the speed and intensity of my perseverance wanes at times.

So when I read this update from my friend that was reminding me to be thankful in my waiting, I suddenly realized that for all that I'm struggling with, I am never alone. I can never and will never forget the amazing gift and blessing God gave me with my son and because that is so real in so many ways, I can't physically, emotionally or spiritually sit here and not believe that I'm just in a season of waiting, but that within this season of waiting there are also blessings to be had. I may not always understand where God is coming from in a given situation. I may also, in my humanness, fail to see the bigger picture in front of me from the onset. But I believe that God is working within me and for me and beside me and with me so that all things in this life will come at the right time.

God blessed my friend with a beautiful baby and her waiting was well worth it. I get to receive kisses and hugs from a beautiful 3 year old and though the waiting was painful and difficult, he is well worth all of it. I said after seeing his face for the first time that given the opportunity, I would do it all again. Maybe that's where I'm at. I'm doing it all again and I have to admit that as badly as I want another baby in my arms today, that it will make no difference in the long run if I have to wait longer...that baby will be worth it. Likewise, my ministry travels have been longer than I had wished them to take yet I've learned so much a long the way that even though I wish I could go back and change a few things, it was all still worth it and I'd go back and do it again tomorrow if I had to.

I remain thankful for all that I have and for this time to reflect on the promises God holds for me. I am thankful in my waiting and will continue to be thankful.

Whatever it is that you're waiting on, whatever prayers you've lifted up to God and are awaiting answers for, whatever is heavy on your heart, whatever healing you desire...be thankful in your waiting.

Prayer
Lord God, I am so thankful for all that you have blessed me with. I'm thankful for the opportunity you have set before me to reflect on that which you have given and that which is to come. I am thankful to you for the reminder that this is a time to be still and to await your will. I am thankful to know you and to know that I am not alone in my waiting. How wonderful it is to have you beside me in the waiting room of life. From the depths of my heart, I thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Word for Thought

"And so after waiting patiently Abraham received what was promised." - Hebrews 6:15

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Have You Taken Your "Word" Lately?

Lately, things have been going really well for me. It’s been life as usual, but with God, my “life as usual” has seemed so much more like a life that I can live in. So you can only imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning feeling completely overwhelmed and 28 shades of gloomy.

I spent most of the day in this terrible funk that I just could not shake off. I cried, prayed, listened to music, watched an uplifting movie, but none of it seemed to be breaking the suffocatingly binding shekels.

Unwilling to give in to the clouds, I took myself to a quite place, listened to some calming music and meditated on God’s word. I really wrapped myself in the wisdom that owns my heart.

Proverbs 12:25 tells us that, “anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up.” NRSV

Maybe that was just it. I was being anxious. Change is all around me. Not bad change, just change. I’m much better at embracing changes these days than I think I ever have been, but maybe my heart didn’t tell my mind and my mind didn’t communicate that to my body.

Either way, anxiety was oppressing me. The worry of how things are all going to work out, what it is God is really calling me to do, whether or not I’ll ever have another child, longing for healing from my PCOS, trying to discover who I really am, desiring answers for the future…just to name a few. I didn’t realize just how much these things were getting to me.

It was when I took a second and third look at the scripture above that God began to speak to me. My heart was heavy burdened because of the stress and anxiety I was putting on it. God informed me that though I was doing a good job being prayerful, I was in much need of the “good word”.

The scripture in Proverbs tells us that what weighs us down can be transformed into cheer with “a good word.” I think the real key, is that everything is better with “THE good word.” The best medicine for our anxiety doesn’t come in a bottle from the drug store, but from God in God’s word.

What a beautiful reminder of just how much we spiritually, mentally and physically – how we wholly – are in need of our daily doses of God.

We take special care to make sure we take our vitamins, our prescriptions, healthy foods, etc. When we don’t take care of ourselves, we feel it. I can tell when I have forgotten to take my medicine…trust me. Well, I think it’s the same with God’s word. I can tell when I’ve forgotten to take my Word for the day. Today, I needed a much bigger dose of the Word to help me feel well again. There simply is no supplement for the healing power of the Word.

Prayer:

Lord God, today I poor myself out before you. I acknowledge how powerful your healing words are. I know that it is your desire for me to be fully well, healthy and happy. Lord God, help me to remember to take my medicine, your Word, on a daily basis. May I always turn to you first in my times of explained and unexplained sorrow. May my frown always disappear in the warmth of your light. Thank you for the rainbows after the rain. Amen.

Questions to Ponder:

1. When was the last time you turned to God’s medicine in your need for healing?

2. Is time with God and studying God’s word a part of your daily routine?

3. Have you asked God for the healing your mind, body and soul desires?

Picking Weeds & Pulling Flowers

As a child, we would travel up into the Rocky Mountains on weekends and the parks were always speckled with the most magical colors of flowers imaginable. Beautiful rich hues dyed the sides of the Rockies and they were almost too much to take in. I enjoyed getting out of the car and walking through the fields of flowers and picking some of my favorites. I especially liked those pretty blue Columbines (which I later learned I was not to be picking). There was no doubt I had an eye for the ascetically pleasing flora.

I loved flowers. But sometimes, even as much as I felt I knew the beauty of those gardens and mountain spreads, I would mistake a weed for a flower. You know the ones. Pretty, fluffy, colorful. The ones you'd pick and bring inside for mom just to discover that they were actually weeds. There were of course other times when I would pull a flower from its bed and toss it to the ground to be discarded as a pesky weed, not really knowing that it was indeed a flower, yet revealed.

I can tell you a little bit, based on what I know, of how God smells, the different ways God appears, the way God sounds, feels, even tastes. I can sense God in many ways and in many places. Sometimes, I feel so connected with God that I'm confident I could not possibly misidentify the One. Yet sin has a way of masking itself with God-like beauty. It has a way of deceiving even the most self-proclaimed strong Godly relationships. So deceiving in fact, that often we can find ourselves discarding the flowers that God is sending us and bringing the weeds inside.

Maybe it is a matter of our imperfect and flawed perceptions. You see, we know that appearances can be deceiving, yet we often judge by appearances alone. Therefore, if what we conceive in our minds as beauty, or God, or answered prayer, or hearts desire, is what shows up at our feet, we my find ourselves easily convinced that the nature is of the flower. Likewise, we may come face-to-face with God and God's blessings and not pick them, but discard them based on initial observation that the gift is a weed because it does not yet look like a flower. In the meantime, we have missed God's gift and have instead planted seeds of the weed. The sin is allowed in and God is kept out based on our perceptions of what is the flower and what is the weed.

What blessings, gifts and answered prayers has God been trying to send that you have been discarding? What sins have you let into your life because they came wrapped looking like your idea of a gift from God?

Satan wraps sin with pretty packaging and God often sends the most beautiful gifts in the most unexpected wrapping. I learned at an early age that to truly appreciate the beauty of the garden, I needed to more fully embrace the elements within. I needed to cultivate a relationship with the garden where I knew flowers by name and I could identify a weed from a flower. It is the same with our relationship with God. God has planted many people in our lives who have sown numerous seeds in the garden within us. By cultivating the soil and nourishing the seeds, God's love and blessings grow in us so organically that the beauty reveals itself like the first breath of life. But to sense any element of this relationship with God, we must invest the time and passion and love into it so that we may be so closely connected with God as we are to the faces of our own children, that there may be no mistaking a weed for a flower. Spend time with God in your garden and ask God to help reveal to you those weeds in your life that need pulling. Also allow God to help you discover the flowers whose beauty can touch another soul if you'd only pick them to share with someone else.

May God bless your flowers and heal your weeds.

Maundy Thursday - A Look at this Day in Holy Week

The Last Supper by Da Vinci

Maundy Thursday, also know as Holy Thursday or Great Thursday, is the day directly preceding Good Friday. Today, is Maundy Thursday. But what happened on this day so long ago that we remember every Easter season?

Four main events occurred on Thursday. The first, is Christ washing the feet of his disciples. The second is, as pictured so famously above, the last supper or Eucharist - Christ's celebration of the passover with the disciples. Third is the time Jesus spent in the Garden of Gethsemane in prayer with God. And finally, this day is a rememberance of the betrayal of Judas.

Many churches in various denominations celebrate and recognize Maundy Thursday. You may find your own church or churches near you holding services Thursday and Friday night this week as well as Easter morning.

It is so easy for us to only remember the resurrection story and although that is a pivotal chapter, we can not fully appreciate the weight it carries if we do not acknowledge and understand the events that unfolded before that glorious day. We must remember the fully human Jesus, who suffered, who prayed, who was humble and who was forgiving. We must remember why it is we partake in Eucharist or Holy Communion. You know, I find a great comfort in picturing my savior in the garden with God this night. Knowing that Christ had human feelings, that he prayed and asked for God's help, is the beauty of the essence of Christ. And to know, that even knowing all that he did, Christ surrendered himself to God's will. Something very few of us can claim we do...surrendering to God's will over our own.

Tomorrow is a heavy day filled with emotion and grief and despair. But for many it is also filled with hope, but, that's because we know the rest of the story. Tonight and tomorrow, as you reflect on the Crucifixion of our Lord, think about how it might have felt to have been at his feet and to see your faith and your hope crucified along with your Lord. How great that despair must have felt. Also reflect on the sacrifice to be made tomorrow. God wasn't the only one who sacrificed Jesus for us. Christ willing sacrificed himself. Jesus is divine, but he was also human. He knew what it was like to have our fears and emotions and he said yes to this great suffering for us, for the Kingdom of God. There is much more to all of this than just Easter bunnies and Lily's. Feed your soul and seek the truth.

Thankfully Thoughtful Thursday

It's a bit of a dreary day here in the neighborhood. The wind has been blowing my new flowers (and my attempt at a good hair day) around and the sky looks like it could unleash a downpour at any moment. Never-the-less, it seems calm and uneventful. Very few cars have driven by. My phone has been eerily silent today and my son is napping like the little angel he is.

My heart has been heavy and my mind stirred. Seems like my allergies aren't the only things this wind is rousing up. But I must say, it has been a great day for thoughtful reflection. With gray skies, the house is darker. I collected some of my favorite candles for meditation and lit them, allowing the fragrance to fill the room. I then proceeded to enjoy a very calm yet intense Pilate's workout. Now that I had centered my body, it was time to center my mind.

One thing I've started doing more lately is meditation. I find a great sense of peace and stress relief when I do it. The music, especially when I listen to Tibetan singing bowls and traditional Indian flute, whisk me away into beautiful zen. Though both the Japanese and the Sanskrit languages have words and definitions for zen, I enjoy that the Chinese refer to zen as "quietude". This sort of plays off of where I was going on my last post. This fundamental concept of simply being still.

Stillness is nearly impossible in a world of ringing phones, screaming children and endless stress. But when I am able to truly center myself physically and mentally, I find that my ability to center myself spiritually is heightened. When I'm truly "quite", I can sense the Holy Spirit deeper and I can meditate on the Word of God.

These days, in this time of lent, when we are approaching the heart wrenching realization of Good Friday, I believe we are called to be quite. Jesus, on the night in the Garden of Gethsemane, sought the quiet, the stillness in order to truly communicate with God. I think about how Christ must have felt those last days. How he knew of betrayal, but loved anyway. How Jesus knelt before God and prayed like we pray, even to the point of asking for pardon. But in the midst of this garden, in the knowing of what was to come, Christ had confidence in God's will. In a similar position, or even in the trials we are facing today, do we have the same confidence? Are we quiet enough, often enough and good enough to hear God? To pray for God's will to be done?

Good Friday is also a day when we remember the sins we've committed that we know we shouldn't have. We recall the pain we've caused Jesus with our transgressions.

Whatever you need to do to be quiet, do it for yourself, as an Easter gift. Give yourself the time to be thoughtful and reflective on what this season really means. Also, take this time to be naked (in the spiritual sense) before God asking for forgiveness for that which you need to repent of. Lastly, be thankful. Thankful for the sacrifice of God, the suffering of Christ and the forgiveness of your sins. I'm a firm believer that unless you take the time to truly reflect on that which happened on Good Friday, you will never fully appreciate the gift that is Easter. Do yourself this favor. I promise, it will have a renewing and transforming affect.

Be Blessed!

Stranded on a Saturday Morning

So, here I am. Stranded. Unable to get home due to weather conditions and overwhelmed by my lack of control on any of the recent circumstances. I feel powerless and much to my family's displeasure, my untamed ADD induced control freak is starting to loose her cool. So what did I do? I did what any woman in my situation would want to do...I kicked the family out. ;-) Hubs agreed to take the hyper and pent up toddler and give me time to focus on reading and studying. Did I mention that this last week was my reading week for school and I have had the opportunity to read nothing? Well...yup, it was.

So, here I am. Stuck. Alone in a cold hotel room with Fox News muted on the TV and a high stack of books to my side screaming to be read. I have emails stacked up, laundry that must be done, cleaning back home that has to be attended to, bills needing to be payed...life needing to get moving onward. I'm mourning the loss of my grandmother deeply and every moment spent in this town filled with memories of her is increasing my sorrow. I want to get out, to go home. But then when I get home, there will be memories of her everywhere there too. So you see, my mind is scrambled and going at 100 miles a minute and I've only mentioned a small fraction of the things running through my head.

So, here I am. Exacerbated. Unable to accomplish much of anything at all and totally annoyed by my inability to control this situation one iota. I'm upset, I'm sad, depressed, angry, irritated, irrational, over emotional, stressed out and a bit panicked. I feel as if I'm caught in an undertow, my lungs screaming for a breath of air, my eyes burning for the sun, my limbs flailing about trying to find something to hold on to and then...

There I am. Safe. Readjusting to a new world while being comforted by the arms of my Savior. All morning the same words have been running through my mind like the gentle whisper of the wind. "Be Still". God told us in Psalms to "Be still and know that I am God." But in order to know, in order to focus enough on God to know God, that which we can know of God, we must first be still. How hard it really is to be still in our world. It has certainly been a chaotic few weeks for me and I could probably say that of the past few years. Life going at warp speed; often at a speed that feels that it can loose control at any moment. Then I thought some more about this being still.

So, here I am. Overwhelmed. Trying to figure out how to get all the water out of my lungs, how to breathe again. Some might say, "but you're in seminary, you're a preacher, why are you having fears and stress, why are you filled with sorrow when you know the deeper theologically presets to life and death. Why are you questioning?" You see, it's like being one of the disciples in Mark 4 who venture into the sea. They are with Jesus; they have Jesus right there in their boat. And yet, when the storm arises, their most innocent and human emotions take over and they fear. They awake Jesus and ask Him to help. Can't He see that they are all about to drown, all about to die, and why isn't He doing anything? I heard recently that just because Jesus is in our boat, doesn't mean we've stopped being human. God knows that, Christ knew and knows that. Its the faith in knowing that whatever storm we find ourselves in, we are not alone, that indeed Christ is in our boat. We're in the same boat. He understands. He's weathering the same storm with us. He knows we're scared and uncertain. God knew us...God knew we would need help down here to understand ourselves, our emotions, our nature and that which we can know of the nature of God.

So, as I sit here on the shore with Jesus, I can recall just moments ago when the waves seemed to be swallowing me whole. I can hear His voice calling to those waves as he did in Mark 4:39, "Peace, be still." As Christ calmed the waves consuming me, He is also calming me who often attempts to consume myself. What good are the calmed waves, if I myself am not calm or still?

For today, I will be still. I will attempt to quite my mind. To focus my heart, my hurts, my sorrows, my stresses and solidarity to God. It's as if this snow storm that barreled through the Midwest preventing me from getting home, is a catalyst in itself, for me to be still. To think that God could still and calm the storm in my soul through a storm of nature. There is a blessing here. An opportunity for me to embrace. A chance, a gift, of peace and of the moment to be still. God has blocked all other distractions. God is lifting me up today by making me be still.

My prayer then for you, is too embrace the moments in your life where God makes it possible for you to be still. I pray you can realize, as I have for today at least, that we don't have to fill every moment in our lives with activities and plans. That sometimes, all the time, we need to leave time for God to fill our schedules. As hard as it may seem, welcome that red stoplight today. It will only alter a few moments of your day, but in those moments, pray. Take that time to breathe, to be at peace and to be still. Bless you this day and always.

Don't Leave it On the Desk

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson,
a studious man who taught at a small college in the western
United States .
Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in
Christianity at this particular institution. Every student
was required to take this course his freshman year,
regardless of his or her major.
Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of
the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students
looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery.
Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity
seriously.
This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve.
Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent
of going on to seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular,
he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen.
He was now the starting center on the school football team,
and was the best student in the professor's class.
One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he
could talk with him. “How many push-ups can you do?”
Steve said, "I do a bout 200 every night"
"200?"
That's pretty good, Steve, ' Dr. Christianson said.
"Do you think you could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300
at a time."
"Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and
I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this
to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can
do it," said the professor.
Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it."
Dr. Christianson said, "Good ! I need you to do this on
Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of
the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big
box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of
donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream
centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it
was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going
to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr.
Christianson's class.
Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and
asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"
Cynthia said, "Yes."
Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked,

"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"
"Sure!"
Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then
Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on
Cynthia's desk..

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked,
"Joe, do you want a donut?"
Joe said, "Yes."
Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups
so Joe can have a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the
first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before
they got their donut.

Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott.
Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition
as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for
female companionship.
When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a
donut?"
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?"
Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."
Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked,
"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a
donut he doesn't want?"
With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups.
Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
Dr. Christianson said, "Look! This is my classroom, my
class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on
the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut
on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just
stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much
effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a
little perspiration coming out around his
brow.
Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students
were beginning to get a little angry.
Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Sternly, Jenny said, "No!"
Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten
more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't
want?"
Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.
By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students
were beginning to say, "No!" and there were all
these uneaten donuts on the desks.
Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever
in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he
did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve
closely.
Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class,
however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he
did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.
Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose
touch on each one?"
Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're
your push ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way
that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the
room and was about to come in when all the students yelled
in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on.
Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
Professor Christianson said, “You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten
push-ups for him?”
Steve said, “Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.”
Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"

Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on.
"Yes," he said, "give me a donut."
"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on
those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were
now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift him
against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was
profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound
except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.
The very last two students in the room were two young women, both

cheerleaders, and very popular.
Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked,
"Linda, do you want a donut?"

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."
Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten
push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"
Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for
Linda.
Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan.
"Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr.
Christianson, why can't I help him?"
Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve
has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in
charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a
donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a
party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book.
Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade.
Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered
me inferior work. Steve told me that in football
practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I
told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he
paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal
for your sakes."
"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a
donut?"
As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the
understanding that he had accomplished all that was required
of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath
him and he fell to the floor.
Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it
was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to
the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the
desk, uneaten."

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat,
physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.
"Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor,
adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words."
Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you
might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of
grace and mercy that have been given to you through the
sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not
His only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the
whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to
accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."
"Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the
desk?"


** This story was received via email. I hope you enjoyed its sentiments.**