Thursday, August 27, 2009

Being Thankful in the Waiting

"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway."
Proverbs 8:34
Recently, a friend of mine was awaiting the arrival of her new baby. She was ready to go any day, and really, ready to go well before that. The doctor told her the baby could come any day, so as any of us who have children know, that means watching the every tick of the clock and jumping at the slightest of movements. During this time, she made a simple "update" post on her facebook account. "Being thankful in the waiting."

The first time I read this I was thinking how wonderful it was that she was having such a great attitude about the end of her pregnancy and amidst the excitement of the arrival of her first child. The second time I read it I thought, "you know what, there is really something in that." The eighteenth time I read it is when it dawned on me that God was trying to say something to me. "Be thankful in your waiting."

I have been really torturing myself lately with the "big" life items that seem to be on simmer. I'm awaiting an appointment to a church in one capacity or another and really, I have very little control as to how any of that will work out besides simply voicing my interest in receiving such an appointment. Secondly, my husband and I have been trying for a second child. This is also limited in the control I have. I have PCOS and struggled for several years before I got pregnant with my first child...who I call my miracle baby. Hubs and I have been trying for number 2 since January of 2008. We are closely approaching two years of trying and to be honest, I'm just exhausted. In the process, I have been on a several different fertility cocktails that have done little else besides make me horribly sick on a daily basis. So I'm literally sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Most of the time, I have been able to keep a very calm and positive attitude about both situations. I know and trust that God is in control and that my life will be blessed by His loving hands as it always has been. I never thought I'd make it to where I am now in my ministry many road blocks. And, I never thought I'd have the beautiful son I do many fertility blocks. I truly believe that nothing is impossible with God. I do. But...I'm human and the speed and intensity of my perseverance wanes at times.

So when I read this update from my friend that was reminding me to be thankful in my waiting, I suddenly realized that for all that I'm struggling with, I am never alone. I can never and will never forget the amazing gift and blessing God gave me with my son and because that is so real in so many ways, I can't physically, emotionally or spiritually sit here and not believe that I'm just in a season of waiting, but that within this season of waiting there are also blessings to be had. I may not always understand where God is coming from in a given situation. I may also, in my humanness, fail to see the bigger picture in front of me from the onset. But I believe that God is working within me and for me and beside me and with me so that all things in this life will come at the right time.

God blessed my friend with a beautiful baby and her waiting was well worth it. I get to receive kisses and hugs from a beautiful 3 year old and though the waiting was painful and difficult, he is well worth all of it. I said after seeing his face for the first time that given the opportunity, I would do it all again. Maybe that's where I'm at. I'm doing it all again and I have to admit that as badly as I want another baby in my arms today, that it will make no difference in the long run if I have to wait longer...that baby will be worth it. Likewise, my ministry travels have been longer than I had wished them to take yet I've learned so much a long the way that even though I wish I could go back and change a few things, it was all still worth it and I'd go back and do it again tomorrow if I had to.

I remain thankful for all that I have and for this time to reflect on the promises God holds for me. I am thankful in my waiting and will continue to be thankful.

Whatever it is that you're waiting on, whatever prayers you've lifted up to God and are awaiting answers for, whatever is heavy on your heart, whatever healing you thankful in your waiting.

Lord God, I am so thankful for all that you have blessed me with. I'm thankful for the opportunity you have set before me to reflect on that which you have given and that which is to come. I am thankful to you for the reminder that this is a time to be still and to await your will. I am thankful to know you and to know that I am not alone in my waiting. How wonderful it is to have you beside me in the waiting room of life. From the depths of my heart, I thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Word for Thought

"And so after waiting patiently Abraham received what was promised." - Hebrews 6:15

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11

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