Thoughts

Do you ever just stare at your post screen and wonder what it is exactly you should write?  I do.  Maybe you've noticed the lack of frequent posts lately, well, they are the result of this empty staring.  I seem to have so much on my mind and yet I'm not sure how any of it is really of any value to anyone else.  I suppose it could be, but just the same, I feel so distant from blogging.  For me, its become a combination of frustration with platform, too much to say and an uncertainty of what of it should actually be said, creativity, and frankly, a very busy personal schedule.  Needless-to-say, I have missed blogging and I hope to give myself the time and voice to get back into it.

If you've left me comments in the past month or so and I haven't responded, I'm deeply sorry.  I've been in my own head a bit, trying to keep things together and in the process, keep myself focused.  March marked the first month back to fertility treatments.  If you've ever experienced the carnival ride that is treating infertility, you'll know what I'm talking about.  Just exhausting.  As tiring as it is, I keep hoping that something wonderful will come of it soon and it will all be worth it.  I know God is present in this mess with me.  We started shots for the first time this month.  I haven't done those before, so that was a new experience, not bad, just new.  I should know by the middle of this week if I'm pregnant or not.  Here's to hoping.

In the meantime, I'm taking this week to reorganize, relax and reflect.  It's my spring break, if you can call it that, and I'm committed to making it valuable.  I hope to work on our financial budget, our calendars, a few upcoming assignments, spend time on my blog, listen to music, read some Jane Austen, watch a few films I've been wanting to see and just taking it easy.  Here's hoping I can execute my plan.  I also hope to take Ham to the zoo this week...a little surprise from mom.  I think sometimes I want so bad to be supermom/superwife/superwoman, that I put too much stress on myself.  Ever do that?  Ugh.  I wonder if I'll ever learn to go easy on myself.  Here's to hoping.

Okay...so...I'm just journaling today, but I'll be back tomorrow, or later, with something of substance.  Thanks all for reading and I promise to get better at responding to comments.  Wishing you all much joy in your coming week.