Sunday, November 16, 2008
The moment you've all been waiting for. The results are in and after a week of major stressing out, too much coffee (is there such thing as too much coffee?) and mild to moderate levels of no sleep, my mission has been completed. As of yesterday at noon, I had officially given my first sermon and...it went incredibly well.
I enjoy being the writer, you know? The invisible face behind the words. I love to write, it's the getting in front of a room of people that stirs my anxiety levels to the moon. I could be asked to do something as simple as say a prayer in front of people and my heart will start to race, my hands shake...seriously folks, attack of the nerves.
But yesterday, yesterday was different. Yesterday was a day that the Lord had made and God sure made a good one for me. So many things happened to come together to make yesterday simply divine.
For the past week I've had an old song in my head. One that was sung at my grandfather's funeral. In fact, it was one of his favorites and has been priceless to me since I lost him. I can't hear it or sing it or think about it without feeling like he's right there with me. So...this song has been in my head this week as I was writing my sermon on Being of a Thankful Heart. Gee...I wonder if I talked about thankfulness since that seems to be my kick these days...I sure did.
I prayed and prayed and focused my attention on God and let him fill me with peace and harmony of mind and spirit. I wasn't nervous yesterday. To be honest, I don't know when the anxiety thing started. I've always had a bit of it, yet I've been able to do a lot of stage work acting and it's never bothered me much. But the last couple of years I've just been mad with anxiety and I can't seem to get it under wraps. Yesterday though...it was completely gone. Not even a glimmer of it existed. I just stepped out in authority, welcomed by the love and grace of those who were there to listen to me speak and I delivered my first sermon. Then, once the sermon had completed, the gentleman in charge of music started playing a song that I thought, no, that I KNOW came from God and possibly my grandpa too.
You see, I sent the music man, as I'll call him here, the scriptures and the sermon title. I didn't give him any music suggestions just told him to go with what he was lead to sing. That was all. Nothing more, not even a hint of what I was thinking. I really wanted to see what would come with the music. So would you imagine my complete and utter surprise when I heard him start to sing The Old Wooden Cross? How could he have known? I didn't tell anyone, not a soul, not even my hubs. Not one person. I didn't mention to anyone even that I had been listening to that song when writing the sermon.
At that moment, I knew a completely different level of peace. I felt a warmth in my heart and around my shoulders. You see, my audience yesterday was made up of beautiful Alzheimer's patients. Men and women who love the Lord, sing his praises in old hymns. My grandfather died with Alzheimer's. Ever since, I've devoted time to helping the Alzheimer's Association find a cure. He died in 1999 and for the past 9 years I've done the memory walk and raised money, volunteered to help family care givers and visit and play cards with Alzheimer's patients. They have a special place in my heart. And yesterday, it all came full circle. From the people I preached to, to the song delivered. What a beautiful, perfect day and oh how I love that Old Wooden Cross.
Posted by Freddae' at 8:19 AM